


Harry Greenwood Does Not Approve  (or 15 Things Harry Greenwood Knows About Fashion)

by theimperialpurple



Category: Charmed (TV 2018)
Genre: Cameos, Crack, Established Miranda Priestly/Andrea Sachs, F/F, F/M, Fanboy Harry Greenwood, Fashion & Couture, Fashion Disasters, Fashionista Harry Greenwood, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Harry Greenwood Does Not Approve, I blame Twitter, Mentioned Miranda Priestly/Andrea Sachs, Of The Vera Sister's Fashion Choices, Out of Character, Project runway - Freeform, Runway Magazine, what not to wear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-25 16:09:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20727020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theimperialpurple/pseuds/theimperialpurple
Summary: "Is there a new demon on the loose?"Harry pinched his nose and took a deep breath."Harry?" asked Maggie, sounding concerned."No," Harry took a deep breath and begged the Elders silently for patience. " I'm taking you shopping.""Why?" Macy asks, and Harry snaps his eyes open and then turns to glare at a bewildered Maggie. "I can't take any of this rubbish anymore.





	Harry Greenwood Does Not Approve  (or 15 Things Harry Greenwood Knows About Fashion)

**Author's Note:**

> I put the blame for this fic on two things 1) My attempt to rewatch the 1st season of Charmed. I'm a bit of a fashionista myself (I actually have a fashion blog) and the costume design for both Macy and Maggie was painful for me to watch. To the point that I actually consider that the costume designer had a grudge against both Madeline and Sarah. 2) [Demonlighter's ](https://twitter.com/Demonlighter)blatant enabling of me on twitter so much that I wrote a not!fic on [Twitter.](https://twitter.com/Demonlighter/status/1173005179555319809). I also created a fashion rpg tumblr called [Harry Greenwood Does Not Approve'](http://harrydoesnotapprove.tumblr.com). This fic is not beta'd and I'm dyslexic so grammar is not my strong point. I did run it through both Grammarly and ProWriteAid. If you are interested in saving me the humiliation, please consider betaing this fic. Oh, one last thing, you can find all the outfits I have created (not just charmed inspired ) on my [urstyle profile](https://urstyle.com/user/imperialpurple).

##  **1\. The Vera Sisters Are Fashion Disasters **

Harry would have a wonderful day. He got up early, got a good cup of earl grey, and had read the paper in blissful silence. 

"Good morning, Harry." Maggie chirped, brightly. Harry always wanted to know how Maggie was cheerful first thing in the morning; And without the aid of caffeine of any sort! This magic was beyond even him. 

He finally looked up from his paper, and his eye twitched. 

Macy came downstairs, and he felt the urge to pinch his nose.

##  **2\. The Vera Sisters Should Not Be Allowed To Dress Themselves**

Harry walked into the room and wanted to immediately walk back out. He barely suppressed a shiver of disgust that crawled up his spine. Did Maggie wear that awful yellow raincoat with the magenta animal print lining, a black and red striped shirt, and oh dear lord matching leopard print scarf and skirt?

"Ladies, it's time to go." 

The three sisters threw him confused looks, "Why?" Mel asked, standing up. 

"Is there a new demon on the loose?" 

Harry pinched his nose and took a deep breath.

"Harry?" asked Maggie, sounding concerned. 

"No," Harry took a deep breath and begged the Elders silently for patience. " I'm taking you shopping." 

"Why?" Macy asks, and Harry snaps his eyes open and then turns to glare at a bewildered Maggie. "I can't take any of this rubbish anymore. 

##  **3\. Hugo Boss is Absolute Rubbish **

Harry drives them to Chicago in a Landrover the sisters didn't even know that he owned.

"Why do you even own a car?" Mel asked, confused. "I mean you can orb anywhere in the world?" 

Harry shakes his head, "Orbing is a little conspicuous, and I would not drive any subpar American cars. Besides, I am not carrying all our purchases myself."

Now, they were walking down the Magnificent Mile on Oak Street the group was headed towards Macy's which Mel made no short of puns about. Then abruptly, the display inside the Boss store collapse on itself. 

All three sisters froze, eyes going wide as they watched the chaos inside the store as the shop assistants tried in vain to fix it. Macy turned just in time to see the corners of Harry's mouth quirk up. 

"Harry did you---" 

Harry just blinks at her with his usual British stoicism, and Macy narrows her eyes. Mel and Maggie just look between them and then exchanged bewildered looks. 

"Let's go, ladies, " Harry says, calmly. "I dare say we still have a lot to do." 

##  **4\. You Have to Know How to Properly Mix and Match. **

"No," Harry murmurs to himself as flips through a rack of clothes shaking his head. "No, no, maybe?" He picks up a nice gray top that would look lovely on Macy. 

"Oh my god, Harry I have to have these!" Maggie rushes towards him. Harry spins around and visibly recoils. "By the Elders!" 

Maggie pouts, "What?" 

He hurriedly snatches the lime green jacket, zebra print leggings, and neon pink open toe ankle boots out of her hands and dumps on the nearest table. "No, absolutely not!" 

"Why?" Maggie whines, looking like a confused puppy. "I thought those were cute." 

"That," Harry starts impatiently. "Is not how you mix and match, Margarita." 

##  **5\. Learn About Silhouettes and How to Emphasize Your Body Shape. **

Macy crosses her arms, eyebrow lifted as Harry tuts at the dress she had shown him. 

He looks up at her and sighs. "Macy you are 29 years old." 

"And?" 

His eyes slide up her very comely figure and then looks away, blushing. "W-well, this dress has no shape and I hate to say this but you are in fact 29 and not *100*." 

He closes his eyes wonders if he will suddenly get pelted with items from the nearby display.

Harry slowly cracks open his eyes, and he sighs in relief as Harry sees that Macy is trying not to laugh. "Yeah, that's not the first time I heard that." 

Harry sighs in relief. 

"What do you suggest?" 

##  **6\. Harry Will Leave Mel Alone Because She's Scary**

"Go away, Harry" Mel says idly as she flips through the clothes. 

"Mel I—" 

Mel while still holding up a pair of ruby red leather pants, finally throw him a glare so deadly that if Harry is surprised that he is still alive He coughs and turns away. Macy may be the most powerful out of the three sisters but Mel still scared the daylights out of him 

##  **6\. Leopard Print Is A Neutral **

"What is that?" 

"What?" Maggie, throwing up her hands. 

With a put-upon sigh, Harry pulls out a pair of platform leopard print ankle boots from under the pile of clothing on the counter. He shutters as he spots the multicolor sequins on the heels and on the side of the soles. 

"What is the name of Circe is this monstrosity, Maggie?" 

"Ugh, fine." Maggie dejectedly snatches the boots out of his hand and storms away. 

The other two sisters are barely holding in their laughter and Harry rolls his eyes and pulls out a credit card. "We'll take all of that please." he says with some exasperation to the clerk and hands over his card. 

##  **7\. Runway and GQ are sacred. **

"Why are we suddenly getting subscriptions to Runway and GQ?" Mel asked as she drops the magazines on the coffee table. "I thought you were guys were more into stuff like ‘_Teen Vogue_’ and_ ‘Scientific American_’. 

"Oh, they finally came!" Harry says scooping them up. 

"You read _‘Runway’_?" Macy asks amused. 

He blushes and fiddles with the volumes in hand, "Yes, if you must know." 

"Why?" Maggie asks, "Isn't that a woman's magazine?" 

"And basically capitalist propaganda?" 

Harry puffs up this full height, "Shame on you for resorting to such toxic masculine stereotypes, Maggie." He waggles his finger at the amused witch. "Besides, Miranda Priestly is a genius and she is the be-all and end of the fashion world. Of course, I'm going to subscribe to _‘Runway’_. " 

"You are really a bit of a fashionista." 

"Yes," Harry reluctantly admits. 

What he doesn't tell them that somewhere in Chester there is a storage locker with carefully packed away in boxes are his ancient collection of issues of _‘Runway’_ and_ ‘GQ’_. He has every issue of Runway since Miranda Priestly became Editor and Chief. Harry had always worshipped Miranda from afar. One year, Harry accidentally bumped into Ms. Priestly at the 1993 ‘New York Fashion Week’ and he didn't wash his hand for a week. 

Harry will also not admit that that in his trunk upstairs, meticulously packed away, is a framed signed copy of Mrs. Priestly's first Editor's Letter. He will also never admit that he paid a hefty amount on eBay for it. 

##  **8\. Hugo Boss and Coco Chanel were Nazis. **

Harry hates Nazis. He served in War War II and although he didn't remember when he originally came across Boss and Chanel's work he immediately felt a deep destian for both designers. Now that he has all of his memories back, he could remember being drafted and serving in 'Royal Army Service Corps'. 

It's all boils down to the fact that Sergeant James Westwell of Her Majesty's Army sodding loathes Nazis. 

Despite, Harry's placidity that fact has not changed in the slightest in his new life as a Whitelighter. He firmly believes that it's okay to punch a Nazi. So if he can't punch a Nazi, Harry will instead settle for buying nothing from Boss and Chanel. And will indubitably make sure their stores know no peace if he is nearby. 

##  **9\. Nothing Comes Before Fashion Week. **

Harry is hurriedly packing up his bags when Macy comes in and pauses in the doorway.

"Where are you going?" 

Harry looks up, eyes wide. "New York. " 

Macy frowns in confusion, "Why?" 

Harry quickly folds a tie and snaps his suitcase close. " It's Fashion Week, and I got tickets to the Tom Ford show." 

"Really?" Macy asks incredulously. 

Harry picks up his suitcases and brushes past her. "Look, I'll be gone for a week. Please do keep out of trouble until then!" He calls out behind him as Macy watches his retreating back in amazement. 

##  **10\. Project Runway and What to Not to Wear Are Both Quality Shows. **

Harry has every episode of _‘Project Runway’_ and ‘What Not to Wear’ downloaded on to an external hardrive. When Harry is stressed, he sits in the attic and watches as Tim Gunn makes some hopeful designer cry.

However, his favorite show is 'What Not to Wear'. He loves Clinton Kelly but is sad that he's doing cooking shows instead embracing his true calling for fashion. Stacy London is a Queen, but he doesn't always% 100 agree with her.

One day, he is sipping a glass of wine and watching as Stacy and Clint go through a woman’s closet when a demon teleports into the attic. He calls the sisters and they battle the demon. But what is really upset about is that missed the reveal of Karen's new look even though, he has seen this episode a dozen times. 

##  **11\. Not Everyone Should Be Allowed to Go Fashion Week**

"Let me come to fashion week, " Maggie bats those big brown eyes at him. 

Harry crosses his arms, "Absolutely not!" 

"Come on, but it will be awesome for my Instagram." Maggie wheedles. "Pretty please?" 

Harry throws a desperate look at Mel who (oh god) has somehow magically got a comedically large bag of popcorn in her hand. She shrugs, "Don't look at me, dude!" 

"Please." Maggie's eyes somehow get even bigger. 

"Fine!" Harry says after a long pause. Maggie puts up her hands and does a happy dance. 

"On one condition." 

Maggie stills and slowly turns around.

"I get to choose your outfits for the entire week." 

Maggie throws a pleading look at Mel who just shrugs. 

Maggie sighs, "Fine." 

##  **12) Plaid and Fur Do Not Go Together **

It is very rare that Harry Greenwood would ever lose his temper. Unfortunately, Maggie was trying to truly test his patience today. First, it was the rhinestone purse that looked like a kid's child project. 

"But I made it myself with my glue gun," Maggie whined. 

He thought he had burned it but oh no, Maggie was quiet clever and resurrected the horrible thing. Harry took a deep breath and made plans to orb it straight in the volcano in Barren Island.

The coat was Harry Greenwood’s breaking point. 

The thing (he will no longer give the benefit of a doubt that it was actually a piece of clothing) came straight out of his nightmares. It was a hooded cyan blue tartan plaid with lines of cheap faux white fur stuck throughout the monstrosity.

"No," Harry said, trying to snatch the offending item out of her hand. 

"Yes," She tugged it back. 

"No," He gritted his teeth. 

'YES!" 

"NO!" And even though Harry was tugging with all his considerable strength, it turned out that Maggie just as deceptively strong. Fortunately, Harry could finally get the upper hand and eventually snatched it out of the youngest sister’s hands. 

"What's wrong with it?!!!" Maggie half cried, half-shouted, stamping her feet like she was an overgrown toddler instead of a young woman on the cusp of her twenties. 

"I LOVE YOU MAGGIE BUT THIS JACKET IS AN ABOMINATION AND IT MUST BE DESTROYED!" 

##  **13) Stye Is Important Business **

"I got to ask," Macy asks sometime later. "Why does it matter so much to you what we wear?" 

Harry opens his mouth and then shuts it. He blinks, a million answers swirling in his brain. He doesn't want to hurt their feeling. He loves them all like they were his sisters. He glances at Macy and blushes. Well, admittedly he didn't think of all of them in a sisterly matter but he would not think too long on that.

He abruptly blurted out: "Look, I got to be seen with you! And frankly, you guys are bringing down my bloody reputation!" 

Macy's eyes twitch and then something smacks the back of his head. 

He rubs his head and looks down at a hardback copy of _‘Emma_’ on the floor. "Okay, I deserved that." 

Macy smirks at him but then sighs, "Actually I have been getting compliments." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah," Macy shrugs. "I rarely care about fashion but I like the compliments." 

Harry grins, "I'm glad that I could be some help." 

##  **14) It's Necessary to Always Dress Your Best**

Harry mouth's dropped open as he stared across the room at his idol. Miranda Priestly had turned back to the stage whispering to some terrified looking redhead. On her other side was a woman with long dark hair. He squinted, It looked it was Andrea Sachs?

The wedding of Miranda Priestly to her once assistant had been the talk of the fashion world when it happened. Everyone who was anyone attended. Harry could only read about it, since he was living in San Francisco at the time. 

Harry’s eyes went wide when Mrs Sachs winked at him and then turned around to take her wife's hand. 

"Oh my god, did Miranda Priestly nod at me?" Maggie whispered in awe. 

"Yes." 

Maggie opens her mouth to say something when her phone vibrates. Her eyes go wide as she stares at the screen. "My photo got 230 likes, and I just got hit 5k followers on insta." She shuttered. "Lucy is talking about you being my sugar daddy." 

Harry felt the bile rise in his throat, "No, just no!" 

##  **15) Reward Good Fashion Choices. **

Harry just stared with wide amazed eyes. His heart was beating so rapidly it felt like it would punch right through his chest. He coughed and then coughed again. 

"What do you think," Macy asked. 

His eyes trailed down her body. Macy’s hair was done up in braids and put up into an elaborate updo. Her makeup was done to perfection, but it was body-hugging money green midi dress with the low v-neck that did him in. And oh sweet Aradia, as she twirled around Harry could see that the dress was indeed backless. 

He inwardly prayed to any benevolent gods that all of his body parts would calm down. Harry could only rapidly nod. She smirked, her metallic gold high heels clicking as she sauntered down the stairs.

Harry barely repressed a whimper. 

"That Good?" Macy said, smugly. 

Harry coughed, "Y—you look stunning, Macy." 

She walked down the stairs and into his arms. Macy kissed him and he closed his eyes at her warm lips met his. "Let's go to dinner, huh?"


End file.
